There are many times in life where your confidence is questioned. Sometimes you will find success in overcoming life’s challenges, and other times you get overwhelmed. There will be times your courage and confidence shines through, and other times when your self-confidence beats you down. However, the most important thing to remember is that you are in control of your confidence and outlook on life, no matter what you are going through.
The problem that most people see is how the situation impacted your life rather than the impact YOU allowed the problem to create for you. As the old adage says, in life pain is inevitable, however, suffering is optional. At the end of the day, its your choice on how you manage the situation and react to it.
There can be a myriad of reasons why your self-confidence is low or has been hurt. Perhaps you have went through a terrible breakup in your relationship or divorce. Maybe you were not accepted to a school you applied for. Or maybe you unexpectedly lost your job. Regardless of the situation, there’s a lot of pain and stress. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer through it long-term. It’s importance that you accept the outcome of the situation and have the motivation to make another attempt with the hope and expectations for a better outcome.
Here’s some of the ways that might help you do this:
1. Look to the bright side
If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not for weeks on end. Losing a job can definitely but stressful, but it also makes it a priority for you to to review your life, reflect on where you are going and perhaps choose a path or workplace that pays you more or has a better culture. Similarly, a divorce may cause you lots of pain (I have suffered through one myself). But at the same time, a divorce usually happens because of the stress in the relationship. Starting over gives you a chance to start a healthier relationship with yourself and perhaps another person, the way you know it should be – for a happier you!
2. Stop comparing yourself to other people
When we have a problem we sometimes question “Why me?” You might feel like a serious of terrible situations are happening to you, but that’s all apart of human nature. We complain when we are in trouble but seldom give thanks to when things are going well for us. It’s easy to look at other people in social network photos and believe they are fully happy and successful in their lives. Stop trying to compare their success with your perceived suffering or failure. This will only make a larger blow on your confidence. Instead, try focusing yourself and make every effort to pull yourself up whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity is capable of destroying self-confidence and self-esteem. Instead of getting immersed and lost in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and start again with a new determination and attitude.
3. Get Out of Your Own Way!
Have you ever stood in the sun and blocked the light. Did you notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of the sunlight. The same thing happens in life. We basically block our own sunshine by getting in the way of our happiness. A lot of people will look for a job for months on end, yet will reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements or take something that is out of their comfort zone. Continually hearing rejections of ‘No’, not only takes a toll on your self-confidence, it also builds anxiety around your current job if you have one or prevents you from earning the money to pay your bills on time. By taking a job that helps you develop new skills, it could also help you regain confidence and bring the extra boost of energy to pursue and land an even better job in the field of your choice!